Wash it all Away
by EvilMicella
Summary: Everything in Yuki’s life becomes too much for him to handle. There was only one way he could stop the pain forever, even if it means hurting the people around him. OneShot. Yukiru


**Wash it all Away**

**Summary:** Everything in Yuki's life becomes too much for him to handle. There was only one way he could stop the pain forever, even if it means hurting the people around him. One-Shot. (Yukiru)

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Fruits Basket, which belongs to Natsuki Takaya, nor do I own the song "_Helena_" by My Chemical Romance. I only own the plot.

**Warning:** Self-mutilation; possibly suicide. Don't read if this is against your beliefs (or what not). There is also mild language.

-

Yuki stared at the sharp metallic object in his hand with sadness in his eyes. He was on the floor in a corner of his room, where no one could easily see him, with the lights off. He had tried so hard to stop, he really had. It just seemed that whatever he did, no matter what he tried, nothing would help him ease the pain he was feeling… except for…

His grip tightened on the razor and he felt warm liquid in his palm before it started to streak down his hand from the pressure of the sharp edges against his skin. There was no pain from his wound; he was quite too numb for that kind of feeling. He promised her, his Tohru, that he'd stop; that if he felt the urge to cut, he'd resist it and think about something else, or do something to get his mind back on track. He promised this a few months back, when he first started to cut and she found out. That was also around the time he told her he loved her, and the fact that she loved him back didn't help him stop cutting. Tohru was so upset when she found out. But she didn't know. The pain was far too terrible to ignore. His thirst for cutting was even worse. He could just see the look in her eyes if she saw any of his new scars. She would be upset, maybe even angry, but most of all, she would be hurt.

'_She doesn't understand,'_ Yuki thought again, his hand with the razor now shaking. _'She never will… but that, I am thankful for. I don't ever want her to feel the way I do right now. Not ever.'_ He looked down at his bleeding hand and gripped the razor firmly. Without a second thought or hesitation, he roughly ran it across his wrist. The blood flowed heavier than ever before, and a smirk made its way to Yuki's face. Cutting was like releasing all the pain in his heart. He had a sort of relief when the blood came, trailing down his arm as though it was washing away the hate and regret in him.

He took the razor and made a few more deep cuts before dropping it to the floor. He would have made more if it wasn't for the fact that he was too weak to grip his silver savior. A faint pair of footsteps sounded in his ears, but he ignored them. It wasn't as if he could do anything, anyways. His strength was gone, and soon enough, so would he.

However, his plan was temporarily and annoyingly interrupted when the door of his room crashed opened. The lights turned on and with as much strength as he could muster, Yuki turned his head towards the door to see who interrupted him. The first thing he saw was the white and black hair of the person, and he instantly knew who it was: Haru. The expression on his face was almost laughable to Yuki. His eyes were wide and frightened, maybe a hint of worry? He didn't know anymore. No one would worry about him, not now. It was pointless. He didn't consider himself to be alive anymore…

--

Long ago  
Just like the hearse you die to get in again  
We are so far from you

--

Yuki saw Haru hurry next to him and kneel down. He looked like he didn't know what to do. The last time something this intense happened, Haru just yelled at him for it. Told him he was stupid. That he was tiring everyone out about his 'stupid problems'. Of course, at that time he was Black Haru and didn't know what he was going on about, but… it hurt. What he said had hurt Yuki. Not just because Haru was his best friend, practically brother, but because… it was true.

"SHIGURE!" Haru yelled at the door after he came to his senses. '_Took him long enough',_ but Yuki didn't mind. He probably would've tried to stop him if he had the strength. "SHIGURE, CALL HATORI! IZA! YUKI NEEDS HELP, HE'S HURT!" After a shuffling of feet was heard downstairs from Shigure, Haru turned back towards Yuki and his angered eyes burned into him. Without a word, Haru ripped some of the fabric off his shirt and tied it tightly around Yuki's wrist. "I can't believe you fucking did this." Yuki saw his hand ball up into a fist, and he gave the ox a smirk.

"W-why don't you just l-l-leave me, then. Just…let me die h-here," Yuki said weakly, his voice barely audible. "That's…what you w-want, isn't it? Or, a-at least, it used t-to be." Haru's eyes went even wider, which made them look as if they were going to fall out.

--

Burning on just like a match you strike to incinerate  
The lives of everyone you know  
And what's the worst you take (worst you take)  
from every heart you break (heart you break)  
And like the blade you stain (blade you stain)  
Well I've been holding on tonight

--

Haru finally found the words to reply to Yuki with. His voice was gruff, almost forming a hiss. "Don't you ever say that again Yuki!" There were tears of both anger and sadness in his eyes now, as if the words Yuki said had affected him deeply. The gray haired boy only let out a dull, almost emotionless laugh.

"You'd t-think the truth would…hurt me-e, more than y-you," he replied, his breath starting to get ragged and he began to cough. Haru noticed the change and took Yuki close to him, as if it would keep Yuki from leaving him, the family, and Tohru. He could tell that the rat was weakening severely, and there was nothing he could do.

--

What's the worst that I could say?  
Things are better if I stay  
So long and goodnight  
So long not goodnight

--

"I didn't mean that, Yuki, and you know it," Haru said quietly as Yuki's eyes started to flutter shut. "Yuki, don't fall asleep. Keep awake for as long as you can. Please!" He shook the boy in his arms until his eyes reopened. There was no way that he'd let his best friend die; not like this, not ever. Without noticing, Shigure had joined the two on the floor with a small bowl of water and a cloth.

"Hatori's coming right over," Shigure said quickly as he dampened the cloth and put it around Yuki's still-bleeding wrist.

"Where's Honda-san?" Haru asked quietly, while watching as Shigure paused at her name. Without looking up, he replied quietly,

"Downstairs. I told her not to come up… I didn't want to upset her."

"I-I want to see Tohru," Yuki said in a low voice, followed by another cough, as he winced at the touch of the cold cloth to his wrist. Shigure looked up at Yuki, his eyes unreadable.

"I think it's best that you don't, Yuki," he said gently, returning his gaze to Yuki's wrist. Haru noticed Shigure's arm shaking as he tried to clean Yuki up. He looked at Yuki and saw the hurt and regret in his eyes, and Haru slowly started to break.

--

Came a time  
When every star fall brought you to tears again  
We are the very hurt you sold  
And what's the worst you take (worst you take)  
from every heart you break (heart you break)  
And like the blade you stain (blade you stain)  
Well I've been holding on tonight

--

"Shigure," Haru started, and the dog looked up at him. "Maybe… maybe we should let them see each other."

"Iie," Shigure said firmly and quietly, though his voice quivering. "I don't want Tohru-kun to see this. She's already crying her heart out downstairs, without seeing how… how bad this is..." Haru suddenly felt shaking in his arms and quickly looked down at Yuki, as did Shigure. The tears in Yuki's eyes were silently trailing down his face, though anyone could tell that he was holding back his sobs. Haru himself held his breath at the sight of Yuki, and a few tears fell from his own eyes.

Without realizing it, another person had entered the room, and startled the two Sohma's, who were silently crying. Hatori rushed over and got down next to Yuki, opposite of where Haru was, holding onto his best friend.

"What happened?" Hatori asked, though he already knew. Before he got an answer, he took the fabric off of Yuki's wrist and looked at the cuts. There was a pause where Haru thought something terribly wrong was happening, but let out a small breath when Hatori continued his work. "Shigure, please help me with this. Haru, go downstairs and… comfort Honda-chan." At the mention of Tohru's name, Yuki's eyes widened, but he was too weak now to say or do anything. Haru held on more to Yuki, knowing how much he wanted to see Tohru, though he knew he couldn't.

"But.. Yuki.." Haru said, his voice shaking slightly. He looked at Hatori, who was staring sadly at Yuki. Shigure was trying to calm himself from before so he could help out better when the time came.

"Haru, nanitozo," Hatori said quietly. "Honda-chan really needs someone right now." After a few second pause, Haru finally nodded his head and slowly set Yuki to the ground so that he would be comfortable. With one last look at Yuki, who was staring off in space with so much hurt and sadness in his eyes, Haru left the room and headed downstairs. He had no problem finding Tohru, as her cries were loud to trace her. He hurried into the room they came from and found Tohru crying against the kitchen table. She quickly looked up as Haru came in and he winced at her sight. Her eyes were puffy and watery, not to mention wide with fright. She got up and stared at Haru, still crying.

"H-how is he?" Tohru asked in such a devastating quiver that made Haru want to let out a few more tears. When he didn't answer, giving her an I'm-not-sure look, she fell to the ground and started to cry again.

--

What's the worst that I could say?  
Things are better if I stay  
So long and goodnight  
So long not goodnight  
Well if you carry on this way  
Things are better if I stay  
So long and goodnight  
So long not goodnight

--

Haru rushed to her side and put an arm around her shoulders. She cried into his shirt, holding onto his hand for dear life.

"What i-if he d…dies, Haru?" Tohru asked through her tears. "I didn't g-get to ta-alk to him…" Haru held onto her tightly, also not knowing if Yuki would live or die. He didn't know what to tell her, but his silence was a good enough reply. They both sat there, silently crying, and didn't even notice when Kyo came in through the front door from his time at the dojo. At the sight of Tohru and Haru crying, Kyo instantly felt frightened, and was too afraid to move. He had a faint idea about what was going on, knowing it was about Yuki, since he was missing from the room (and his absence from comforting Tohru told him, as well.) However, he still didn't know _what_ happened, and he started to think the worst. Tohru was crying harder than Kyo had ever seen her cry, but what scared him the most was that Haru, too, was crying, and Kyo _never_ saw him like that before.

"W-what happened?" Kyo finally asked, looking back and forth between Tohru and Haru. The ox looked up at him, now very slowly calming down. He took a few deep breathes before answering the cat.

"It's Yuki," he whispered, still staring at Kyo. "He, well…" Haru didn't need to finish, since Kyo already knew what he was about to say. He knew that Yuki had been cutting himself for a while, so it had to be about that. When he realized this, he started to worry, something that he didn't usually do if it was about the rat. However, this was a serious matter.

Before anything could be said, sounds from upstairs were heard and everyone instantly looked at the stairs. Shigure suddenly came into view and went to the sink for more water. He could feel the eyes on him, but he didn't know what to tell them. Yuki was just the same as before, but he wasn't a doctor so he couldn't say how bad it was.

"Shigure," Haru's quiet voice came from behind him, and he reluctantly turned around. The only thing he could see was Haru's face, as he was standing close to him, obviously very worried about Yuki. Though he could see Tohru and Kyo over his shoulders, Shigure didn't have the courage to look at them. "What kind of condition is he in?"

"Haru, to tell you the truth, I don't know," Shigure said with honesty, and quietly so that Tohru didn't hear. "Hatori's trying to get it under control though, but that's all I can say." Haru slowly nodded and left Shigure so he could finish filling the bowl of water.

-

Hatori looked down at the paling boy in his bed with sad eyes. Yuki had lost too much blood by the time he arrived, and he had no clue about the outcome. However, he was quite sure it wouldn't turn out well. No… he _knew_ it wouldn't, and there was nothing he could do anymore. Hatori had already stopped the blood flow, cleaned the wound, and gave Yuki a shot that would help him gain his strength. But none of it was working as much as it needed to be.

By this time, Shigure came back with a new bowl of water. Hatori looked right at him as though telling him what was, more than likely, going to happen to Yuki. Shigure's eyes widened, though it could be seen that he had a feeling this would happen. The cuts were too deep, and by the time he got any medical attention, he was far from repairable. Now that Shigure's horrible thought was proven, it started to make him sick. With all the blood loss and the deepness of the cuts, it was a fact now that Yuki…was going to die.

"He doesn't have much time," Hatori finally said quietly. He looked at Yuki, whose breath was slowing down, then back to Shigure, with still-wide eyes. "I think he has a matter of minutes." Hatori surprised himself with how calm he was being in a situation like this. Though deep inside, it was painfully beating up on him. He had failed in fixing Yuki like the few times before. Why hadn't they done anything when this first happened to Yuki? If they did, then no one would be here today, worrying about whether Yuki would live or die… just to find out in the end that he didn't make it. What would Tohru say? Or even Haru, he was the first to find Yuki… then there was Ayame, who didn't even know what was happening to his younger brother.

Hatori looked over at Yuki and saw that his breathe, or almost lack thereof, was just about to end. Shigure looked away, unable to watch his cousin die before his very own eyes, which started to tear up once more. This time, however, he was unsure if they would ever stop, not after this moment…

Yuki let out one last struggling breath before the cold hands of death took him away from the Sohma's. Hatori closed his eyes and put his head in his shaky hand. Silence enveloped both Shigure and Hatori for a scarce minute, until the writer slowly got up to inform the others. Hatori had also got up, but instead headed towards the phone to call Ayame, something he wasn't looking forward to doing. Ayame was so happy that Yuki was getting better, as far as they knew, and now that this horrible accident happened so suddenly… Hatori couldn't even picture how Ayame would act towards it.

Shigure quietly headed down the stairs so that he wouldn't be heard right away. He poked his head around the corner and spotted Tohru, Haru, and Kyo sitting at the table in the living room, either staring off in space or their heads were hidden in their hands. How was he supposed to tell them what had happened to Yuki when Shigure himself couldn't even handle it? What was he going to say, and would they know by the expression on his face that he so desperately tried to hide? But he knew he had to do it sooner than later, even if it would hurt them. Taking a deep breath and trying to hide how broken he was, Shigure entered the living room and the three heads instantly turned towards him, all wide-eyed. Haru jumped up at the sight of Shigure, who looked like he had news of Yuki's condition.

"How is he?" He asked worriedly. Shigure couldn't look them in the eye, as they were already suffering enough and their expressions were too much to take. However, he couldn't find his voice and the dog stood there, rather speechless and lost for the right words.

"Shigure-san?" This time Tohru's voice came quietly, making Shigure even more broken up inside. As though daring himself to look up, the dark haired man finally did, and stared in the eyes of Haru, Tohru, and Kyo before closing his own as tears started to form.

"Sumimasen," Shigure could only say in a quivering voice, but the three teenagers quickly, and painfully, understood what he meant. Shigure never showed this much emotion before, and it was obvious that what they were thinking had happened, really _did _happen. Tohru froze for half a second before desperately crying into her hands, her head as low as it could possibly go, as to hide herself from the others. Haru stared at Shigure with wide, disbelieving eyes, but he knew… Yuki really _was_ gone. Slowly, the tears from before gathered up in his eyes and trailed silently down his cheek. Even Kyo's eyes were watery, but he wouldn't let them fall, or even let them be seen, as he had quickly turned away from the others when they had appeared.

This would surely be the darkest day any of the Sohma's would ever see.

-

Tohru looked into the mirror and let out a small shivering breath. She tried to straighten her black dress so she would look presentable. It had been a few days since Yuki had… had killed himself, and today was the day of his funeral. A part of her didn't want to go, as if it was saying to her that if she went, it would prove that Yuki was indeed gone. But what kind of person would she be if she stayed home? If she stayed away from the funeral of the only person she'd ever truly love, without getting to say a proper good-bye?

Tohru slowly lowered herself against the wall and brought her knees to her chest, burying her head from anyone to see. Tears fell from her eyes, as they had been since that horrible day, and she reminisced about the last time she had spoken to Yuki…

"_Yuki-kun?" Tohru called his name as he entered the Sohma house from his after school counsel meeting. She was starting to get worried, as he had been gone for three hours and they already had dinner. He looked up at Tohru when his name was called, and gave her a small smile. _Something about that smile…it wasn't right…

"_I'm sorry I'm late," he replied, walking over to Tohru, who had gotten up from sitting down in the living room peacefully. Haru was also there, since he got himself lost earlier and followed Tohru home. Plus, he wanted to see Yuki before he left for the Main House. Shigure was barely noticed in the corner, writing things down for his latest novel. "The meeting went longer than I planned." _He sounded as he always did, but somewhere deep inside made him sound so… so sad…

"_Oh! Don't apologize!" Tohru said, waving her hands frantically. "I saved your dinner; it's in the refrigerator for you, whenever you want it." _He gave her another smile… the same one as before…

"_Thank you," Yuki whispered to her as he gave Tohru a kiss on her now bright red cheek. "Though, I'm afraid that I'm not very hungry at the moment." He looked at Haru, who was giving him a concerned look. He, too, noticed the way Yuki was talking and acting, and it started to worry him._

"_Nani?" Yuki asked Haru with a raised eyebrow and questioning look. The ox shook his head and turned to the TV, though his thoughts remained on Yuki. Shigure looked up for a slight second, taking a quick glance at Haru then Yuki before slowly returning to his writing. "I think I'll go to bed now, I'm getting a little tired. __Oyasumi__." He turned to leave the room, unaware that all eyes were on his retreating figure. Tohru snapped out of her gaze and went the way Yuki had._

"_Yuki-kun," Tohru followed him on his way to the stairs until he paused to look at her after she said his name. "Is something wrong?"_

"_Of course not," Yuki replied, almost too quickly, with a smile. "I'm just not feeling well." Tohru let a skeptical look come upon her face and he gave her a soft kiss on the lips. "Everything's fine, you don't need to worry. _I promise_." With one last faltering smile at Tohru, he headed upstairs to his room, leaving the girl feeling almost disconnected from him. _

Tohru shook her head to get the memory out, as it brought her much heart break. He was there, yet so far away from her, and she just let him go… But…why hadn't he come to her? Hadn't she told him to, after his last attempt of taking his own life? She had indeed told him that whenever he felt alone or sad, he could talk to her about it. She would help him get through it. Why did he just keep his emotions bottled up like that, suffocating him deeply, when he could just come to Tohru? He knew she loved him and would help, but he didn't come… he acted alright, but that was just a mask he put on, as to not make Tohru worry…However, that same mask made her break, harder than ever now.

'_You said everything was fine. You promised me, Yuki-kun, you promised me…' _Tohru quietly cried harder into the dress against her knees, holding them against her for dear life.

--

Can you hear me?  
Are you near me?  
do we deserve

do we deserve  
To leave the earth  
And meet again when both our cars collide

_--_

Haru was downstairs in the living room with Shigure and Kyo, getting ready to head to Yuki's… _funeral. _No one wanted to speak about anything, and the silence made Haru feel tense. Soon enough, though, Hatori would come and pick them up, and they'd be gathered around a grave with a headstone with Yuki's name on it… Haru let out a saddened sigh, though unnoticed by the two other Sohma's. They, too, seem to be thinking what Haru was, as he had never seen Shigure so grim and still, and Kyo, who always went around saying that he hated the rat, hid his face from everyone by keeping his back to them.

Just as Tohru was, Haru's thoughts were clearly focused on Yuki and how Haru could have saved him if he was only quicker…

_It was an half an hour after Yuki left, and the room seemed slightly stiff. It was obvious that everyone in the room, even Shigure, though he didn't show it, was thinking about Yuki. The silence almost got to Haru when Tohru's small voice came out. _

"_Hatsuharu-san, could you check up on Yuki-kun?" she asked the cow, sensing that he was also just as worried as Tohru was about Yuki. With a hastened nod, Haru got up, climbed the stairs and went towards Yuki's room. The way Yuki was acting earlier made him nervous. The last time he was like that was when… Haru froze on the spot, just feet away from Yuki's tightly closed door. _

…_was when Yuki cut himself for the first time, months ago… _

_Without another thought, Haru hurried to Yuki's door and slammed it opened… _

The sounds of footsteps came from the stairs making Shigure and Haru turn in that direction. Tohru slowly came in, her head looking towards the ground. Haru saw a flicker of extreme sympathy in Shigure's eyes as he looked at Tohru, but still no one spoke. It was to Haru's relief and agony when the doorbell rang loudly through the hollow house. Shigure slowly got up to answer it and a few minutes of silence passed before he came back and motioned for them to follow him, as they were now going to be leaving. Hatori stood by the front door, patiently waiting for everyone in the house. His expression had been the same as what he usually had on, but his eyes were even more blank and hollow.

"We'll be meeting everyone else there," Hatori finally said when they started to head out the door towards his awaiting car. Shigure took the front seat as Kyo, Tohru and Haru piled in the back, careful not to accidentally hug and transform. The ride to Yuki's funeral was quiet, surprisingly enough with Shigure in the car, as he hadn't even said a word to anyone on the way. When they finally arrived, after seemingly hours of driving, though in reality it was only 30 minutes, they saw Momiji, Kisa, and Hiro waiting outside for them. Momiji was surprisingly calm and hadn't said a word as Hatori, Shigure, Haru, Kyo, and Tohru came into view. He wouldn't even look anyone in the eye, which was much unlike him. Kisa, however, ran up to Tohru as soon as she saw her and they gave one another a hug.Hiro was standing to the side, ignoring the two, and everyone else for that matter, and crossed his arms. What usually would annoy him, such as Kisa 'ignoring' him to talk with Tohru, wasn't bothering him that day. It came as a shock to him and the other Sohma's that Yuki had died. He was there one day and the next… he wasn't.

--

What's the worst that I can say?  
Things are better if I stay  
So long and goodnight  
So long not goodnight

--

As they entered the building, it was already filled with members of the Sohma's, even though they were pretty early. One person, however, stood out the most among the crowd of black suits with his long silver hair. Ayame was sitting near the front, his head bent down in deep thought.

After he received the call from Hatori about Yuki, Ayame couldn't help but think about the whole thing ever since. He remembered exactly when he heard about Yuki's first time cutting. Hatori had called him that time as well, though it was more of a shock to find out for the first time about his younger brother.

"_What Akito did to Yuki when he was younger is finally catching up to him, and pretty hard. It's becoming harder for him to handle now."_

It was because of that bastard that Yuki had first started. And Ayame couldn't for the life of him think about how they just let the whole thing slip through their heads. Why hadn't they done anything when Yuki started? Just because he said he was fine didn't mean he really was. What was worse was Ayame not only thought the same thing after it first happened, but he didn't do anything about it either. He failed as a brother once more, by letting Yuki die.

Ayame suddenly felt a hand on his shoulder and he looked up. Shigure was staring down at him with an incredible amount of sympathy and comfort. Ayame felt his lips form a tiny smile of gratitude as Shigure took a seat next to the snake.

"How are you feeling?" the writer asked, though it was quite obvious that Ayame wasn't feeling the very best at the moment, as his face was like a sickly pale.

"I… I can't exactly explain how I feel…" Ayame whispered as he took a small clump of his sleeve into one of his hands. "Maybe empty would be best to start with." Ayame tightened his grip on the fabric and felt his hand start to shake. "How could I let this happen?"

"Don't say that Ayame," Shigure said sternly, trying to look into Ayame's eyes but found that rather difficult as they were fairly covered by his hair. "Don't blame this on yourself when it was no ones fault. We tried all we could to help him, this just… it couldn't be stopped."

"Yes, it could have been!" Ayame whispered angrily, finally moving his head towards Shigure to look him in the eyes. "We didn't do anything that actually worked. We just let it go on without giving any help, and you know that!"

"Ayame-"

"Nothing you can say will bring him back, Shigure… nothing…" Ayame muttered, resting his head in both of his hands, clutching his hair tightly as he tried to hold back the tears that were threatening to fall. _'I really lost my brother… I really did…' _Ayame barely felt Shigure's hand as it rested gently on his shoulder in comfort.

The rest of the family, mainly the junishi, took their seats near the front. Tohru sat near the end next to an unusually quiet Momiji and Kisa. The voices in the room suddenly went quiet, though they still had a few minutes before everything was to begin. In the door way stood the one man that proved that someone could be hated by everyone who knew them…Akito. It was also to no ones surprise to see Kureno next to him like a trained dog. Akito took a look around the room as if daring someone to speak ill of him, or to even speak at all, before taking a seat farthest away from the front. He completely ignored the presence of the cursed Sohma's, though it was no doubt a good thing to have happened, since none of them were very pleased to see him, Ayame most of all.

However so, Akito's eyes moved over slightly in the direction of the Junishi and glared at the backs of each one. They no doubt blamed him for Yuki's death. The first time the subject ever came up was when Yuki had started to cut. Though it wasn't directly said that it was his fault, Akito knew what Hatori's words really meant after he asked to see him.

"_I think it is best that you leave him alone for now. He's been through much, and I don't think he can take anymore. Your words, or anyone else's of course, could deeply affect him."_

He wasn't stupid. Hatori might as well have said _"All the things you've said and done to him led to this."_ It didn't matter anymore. They could believe whatever they wanted to, Akito didn't care. Soon a new rat would be born and all of Yuki would be forgotten. Akito let his thoughts carry him away from his whole surroundings, unaware of the start of the services.

The Sohma's and Tohru all listened and heard the words of the speaker, but they were clearly unfocused to what anything that was said meant. All thoughts were unmistakably mainly on Yuki, and realization hit them all like a hit to the head with a metal bat.

Yuki was gone.

_Gone_.

Not away for a brief period of time, only to return when the time called for it. He wouldn't be in his room studying or reading a book about plants. He wouldn't be at his garden, taking out the weeds and picking all the plants that were ready to be harvest. When it would be time to return to school, Yuki wouldn't be at the Student counsel meetings, or at his desk in the homeroom.

He was truly _gone_.

But… through all the hardship they would no doubt go through, the Sohma's, as well as Tohru, knew that Yuki was freed from the pain. Freed from the curse, from the people who caused him to hurt so badly. It would no doubt leave a part of everyone's hearts empty, not being able to see him smile, to talk to him, to hear him laugh. They knew it would hurt for a long time. But it was worth it only for Yuki to be always truly happy now. It was like the sacrifice that was made. You have to let something go just to know it's in a better place, free from what made it hurt.

Tohru knew that she would never again feel his all too familiar lips press against hers. She wouldn't hear him laugh like he did at his Secret Base. She wouldn't be able to do the things she most loved, with the person she most loved. Though… as long as he was completely out of his pain, out of his sorrow, Tohru could make it through. She was happy that Yuki was somewhere peaceful, even if it was far away and unreachable to her. All that mattered was that he was happy.

Life would go on.

With that one thought in mind, it not only brought a smile to Tohru's face… but to the faces of all the cursed Sohma's, as they all had the same thing in their thoughts. Yuki was alright now; everything would be fine. Losing something as a loved one can be like gaining something for that same person and…

_Life would surely go on…_

--

Well if you carry on this way  
Things are better if I stay  
So long and goodnight  
So long and goodnight

--

**Author's Note:** I'm not usually the type of person to write about suicide, but this idea kept bugging me to write it. So…I did. Hope it doesn't sound too bed :D

Is it just me, or is Tohru one complicated character? Sure, she seems easy to figure out, but it's not that simple! I tried so hard to make her in character, to make her react like she would in the manga if the situation called for it (and I doubt it ever will. Natsuki Takaya doesn't do this kind of problem, I don't think.) Sumimasen!

And I'm sorry that I didn't put this up sooner. Things happened and caught me off guard…and school isn't exactly easy. I'm just sorry for the long wait.

**Translations**:

**Iza**: Now!

**Iie**: No

**Nanitozo: **Please

**Sumimasen**: I'm sorry

**Nani**: What(?)

**Oyasumi**: Goodnight


End file.
